Accept it

Well, we’ve come at long last to the final week in our series on dos and don'ts. It’s always a strange feeling for me, when that happens. Mostly because it means the month is over, and I suddenly realize just how quickly the weeks have passed. Have you noticed they seem to be moving faster, each year?

I’ve digressed again, haven’t I?

We’d best remedy that.

Now, I know this topic may seem familiar to some of you, but that’s because I came at it from a different angle, a couple weeks ago. Today, I want to take a new spin on it. Let’s look at it in the positive—which is something a lot of us (even me) struggle to do.

Accept Criticism

I know. It seems contrary to everything you’ve ever wanted to do. Why on earth would we want to hear all the negative things someone has to say about our work? How could we possibly hope to just sit there and take it all, to listen to all these things and not be able to bite back, to say how stupid that person is for not understanding the brilliance of our novel?

But that’s not a positive spin at all, is it?

Here’s what you should really be asking yourself, when someone criticizes your work:

Are they right in what they’re saying? 

Are their words simply biting, or do they hold purpose? 

Is their intention to help you, or to hinder? 

Have they come to you with kindness, or with pride? 

Is this a person whose words you can trust, or who you know to be untrustworthy?

These are all things that we need to consider, but we tend to ignore them and go straight to the rage. Friends, let’s not do that. Responding with anger only begets more anger, and that’s really the last thing this world needs. Seriously. Have you seen the news?

So here’s what we need to remember:

Some people only mean to lash out, when they criticize. That doesn’t give you the right to snap back at them. You don’t know what’s going on in their head. Maybe they just got fired, and they need to yell at someone. You don’t know. Consider that, before you respond.

Some people honestly mean to help. Again, you’ve no reason to chew them out for it. They thought they were doing a good thing, by critiquing your work. It didn’t occur to them that you might take offense to it. Consider that, before you respond.

And above all, remember this:

No work is perfect.

None.

And no one will ever write a book that everyone on earth loves and cherishes and thinks of as the greatest book ever.

There will always be people out there who don’t like your work. And there will also be people who do. But some people in both categories will critique you, and you need to learn to take it. You need to learn to see through their words, to understand the angle from which they’re coming, and learn to use their words for the betterment of your work.

That’s what critique is for, whether the criticizer intended it to be used that way or not.

[love]

{Rani D.}